Transformation

The last couple of years have spurred radical change and incredible adaptations and adjustments. I KNOW I am not alone in this. Ive watched so many people transform in very incredible ways over the last couple of years. And, while there have been many painful moments (or extended periods of time!) What I am seeing is a very real sea change amongst many of my peers.

I started a new career in 2017 with a set picture in mind. Here is is the end of 2021 and things have turned in wild and magnificent directions. The main take away for me has been to regularly take inventory and be exacting in throwing out what is no longer working.

Life is short and these last 2 years has really revealed how fragile this time on earth can be. I feel now, more than ever, its important for me to take stock and adjust accordingly.

Mostly, I find that it is my own ways of thinking and behaving that need changing. (Can I REALLY change anything else??) Having the ability to be honest with myself and sit with the discomfort of seeing a version of myself I would prefer not to is a real act of bravery sometimes. And, then, going beyond the first layer and diving into what is behind the thinking and acting is even bolder and scarier (sometimes).

Sometimes its difficult to see changes in ourselves, and then, you handle a situation SO differently that you amaze yourself.

I have to remind myself that more often than not, folks are doing their very best. I know that I want people to assume that about me. And, most times when Im thinking about how Ive fallen short, Im wishing hard that Id had the grace or the understanding to do exactly what was necessary to fit the situation. But, the truth is, humanity is full of foibles. Acceptance is the thing I keep spiraling back to over and over again. Both of others AND myself.

I keep wondering about this glorious concept of transformation and wonder if, really, its all a matter of the unearthing and unravelling of what is NOT part of me. Essentially, Im considering that the transformation is really more of a restoration.

One day at a time...

Like all of you, Ive been looking at the landscape of 2020 with a whole lot of different feelings. Honestly, its been difficult to figure out where to put all of the emotions. SO much seems to be emerging for us to collectively look at all at one time. How in the world can we address it all?

In April of 1990, I got clean. While I was still quite young, I managed to get ultra committed to using drugs and a scary lifestyle in short order. My parents, who were pretty darn scared for me, found a rehab center and sent me there… for 26 months. While there are many details related to being overwhelmed and trying to figure out how to essentially rebuild after such a seismic shift, the one I really want to focus on is the adage from AA that suggests taking things “One Day At A Time”.

I have turned out to be a person who plans and executes. mostly, things go well and right for me. I plan on some need for flexibility and the outcome typically lands in the realm of my expectations.

Not so for this year.

Between a major vehicle accident, having to close one of my businesses (a hair salon) for 10 weeks due to COVID-19, Dreams of a competitive season with my horses, a major reroute in some decisions I made early in the year, I have had the need to get back to the practice of ODAAT. Or, one MINUTE at a time!

This is always where the horses remind me of how to be in the moment. They require me to practice clarity and neutrality. They need my questions to be plain without emotional residue. Expectations to be out front and attainable with a known path to accomplishment.

This is hard to practice when things are swirling and everything appears murky and unclear. Im glad to have a reminder from these amazing creatures to be in the moment and address what is in front of me. Ive heard folks talk about it as “ride the horse you have today”. Its helpful for me to think about where I am more than where I am going.

Sometimes I forget, but, the horses always remind me in one way or another.

Heres hoping this is a helpful reminder to do whats in front of you and let overwhelm pass on by.

"Try"

I’ve had the good fortune of riding many different types of horses. With this experience, I have met horses with varying degrees of inspiration. I find myself wondering how they got to be in the mental state they arrive to me in.

I admit that I have fallen prey to anthropomorphising. I do, after all, LOVE a good story. But, in the end, I can only work with what is in front of me. In the last year, I have found myself having to deal with horses that ranged from the type that would balance my checkbook if I asked, to the type that demands a smoke break before I even get on with the work. Obviously, I prefer the former. But, the latter really demands that I think about how to make things fun and meaningful to the horse.

I really enjoy the process of presenting information that makes sense and instills a confidence in the horses. Seeing them have a ” lightbulb moment” and figure out how to “try” is so much fun.

This makes the work I get to do with them so rewarding.

Winter's Training Puzzle

In late November I put Ripley on the trailer and headed to our 7th Horsemanship clinic with the legendary, Joe Wolter. Every time I have the chance to learn for him, I try my best to make sure I can be there. I always take home really rich nuggets of truth to chew on for the year. And, just like every other time I’ve gone searching for the important lesson meant for me, there Joe was, ready to deliver.

Getting up to the mounting block has been a historic issue for Ripley. One that I spend a lot of time on and have presented every possible way I and a handful of other folks can think of.

Ive gotten him up to the round pen panels, to the fence, and, up to the mounting block. Ive gotten half on and off at least 100,000 times. Seriously. I have been so painstaking in my thoroughness so as to make this seem easy to my horse.

We’ve had a couple of wrecks over the years that have made me quite cautious about mounting and focused on making sure Ripley is prepared.

So, here we are at the clinic. I am really ready to put this whole mounting thing to bed. It’s not that I can’t ride him or even that I feel as though I am stealing rides, it’s just that he is more bothered about it than I think he should be. Joe agreed. But, then, Joe gave me something incredibly important to think about.

Joe said, “ instead of you getting him ready to get on, why don’t you help him get himself ready for you to get on ?”

At first, these concepts seemed so similar. But, I’ve worked with Joe enough to know that there is a lot to explore inside of this simple statement.

And, so, this is what I have spent time this winter thinking about. How much do I fill in for my horse? Am I able to really let him work at something to find his way to a solution?

Im a “doer”. I fill in constantly unless it’s brought to my attention. What I didn’t realize, is that in it’s own way, it’s made my horse a bit anxious.

I have a long way to go, but, I have really made some changes that seem to make a big difference to my horse. Now my approach is completely different. I set things up so that Ripley find his own way to getting ready to be ridden instead of me fixing and filling in for him. This has made the mounting block puzzle so much clearer for him to solve. It has been borne out in the riding as well. He seems so much more confident and relaxed.

This makes the experience of riding him so joyful to me (and, I think, to him!). Which as I recall, is the whole point.

If you’d like to share your experience, feel free to reach out!

frogpondfarmnc@gmail.com